Aha! Moment

I recommend driving with the radio off for Ah-Ha moments!

I have been catching up on my Oprah this summer since my hubby’s been gone.  It’s really amazing how she opens your mind and your heart within your own world.  Aha! Moments are one thing she talks about.  I was driving in my car yesterday with my radio off.  I like to do that occasionally just so my thoughts can surface, and I had an Aha! moment of my own.

I was thinking about my trip to London, I leave Friday night.  I realized that in any other circumstance if I was taking a trip to London for 9 days I would be so excited.  This will be my first trip to Europe. Oopse, my mom told me UK does not consider themselves Europe .  But anyway I have not been excited.  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to run into my husband’s arms.  However, subconsciously I have been feeling a lot of pressure coming up to this trip.  Everyone, even strangers ask me the SAME question when they hear I am moving to the UK, “Are you excited?”  No.  I am not excited.  And I feel horrible about that.

I was telling my hubby last night this is a huge change in my life.  I put it with graduating from high school, and college.  Your whole life gets turned upside down.  You move to a different city, and home.  Your whole daily routine changes.  Can I get Curel in the UK? (I am not sure but Amy made sure there was a website that ships to UK so I could order it online.)  I told my hubby, becoming his wife was easy, not much changed and I knew I wanted to spend everyday of my forever with him.  That was easy.  I was so excited to marry him.  I still live with him everyday in our home.  My daily life did not change except trying to remember to sign my new last name.  But now I am quitting my job of 7 years, leaving all of my friends and all of my family, selling my favorite car and moving to another country to freeze in the rain and drive on the other side of the road while on the other side of the car.  I am not excited, I am apprehensive and nervous. Everything I know will change.  And I am not good with change.

The trip across the pond is a tryout for the UK.  Will I like it?  Will I finally get that feeling apparently EVERYONE else would have if they were moving to England?  I feel the pressure.  I decided yesterday to make the choice to think of this not as a trip to experience my new home, but as a spectacular vacation with my husband.  He has willingly planned our travel while abroad.  All I know is we are starting out in London and then traveling to 2 other locations.  One is obviously Cambridge and other towns surrounding our new posting.  The other is a surprise.  He has made all of our reservations and has told me we will be having fancy dinners, going to a show in the West End and hill walking (which is what we call hiking).  I am excited.

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4 responses to “Aha! Moment

  • Amy

    Don’t let the pressure get to you! You are not obligated to feel any particular way, other than how YOU feel. This is a huge change, and it’s totally normal to feel nervous about all the new things hurtling at you, let alone sad to leave your family and friends for 3 years. Stop feeling guilty, like you *should* be excited, just because everyone else is. I include myself in that group, since I’ve gushed over the prospect of moving to England, but I’m not the one going, and neither is anyone else! Enjoy your trip, because it’s just that–a trip. I’m sure Derek has planned all sorts of wonderful things, and that you’ll have a fabulous time. xo

  • Rachel SV Mc

    Love this Sara – I agree with Amy completely – you should not feel guilty about being nervous about this huge new chapter of your life. However, I LOVE that you’ve decided to view this trip as a fabulous vacation! I’m sure you’ll continue to be nervous but by focusing on the vacation aspects maybe you’ll find that there are things you really are excited about! One of my dearest friends in Atlanta is moving (today, *sigh*) to Jackson, MS and I’ve chosen to NOT focus on how much I’ll miss her and how Matt and I will ever be able to find another couple that we BOTH get along with so well, but rather on what an exciting opportunity this is for her and her husband and all the great trips we’ll plan together so we’ll get to see each other – trips back and forth to Jackson and Atlanta and then joint trips somewhere new. We have a New Orleans trip in the works as soon as I can drink again that I am soo excited about!

    You’ll have to let us know what the “surprise” city is! I’m excited just to hear about that! 🙂 Have a FABULOUS trip! Can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back!

  • Joan Endres

    Oh I just LOVE that you are doing this & am so happy to be along for the ride!

    It is so cool that you are looking at ALL of your feelings and deciding which direction to take them. I think so often we forget that we are in control of how we feel and we don’t have to just let our feelings “drive” us. We can steer around the pot holes. Of course this is a complex time for you and it will be challenging & magical & all kinds of stuff in between!! I am excited for you — living somewhere so new to you so far away may be difficult but you will learn so much about yourself especially because you will be outside your comfort zone.

    Hey — thanks for the thoughtful card!

    Can’t wait for the next installment! xxx

  • Kristi

    I had such a hard time with our move from Mobile to Pcola, and that was just an hour away! I’m glad that you’re taking some deep breaths…enjoy this time with your husband!!!

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