I have been catching up on my Oprah this summer since my hubby’s been gone. It’s really amazing how she opens your mind and your heart within your own world. Aha! Moments are one thing she talks about. I was driving in my car yesterday with my radio off. I like to do that occasionally just so my thoughts can surface, and I had an Aha! moment of my own.
I was thinking about my trip to London, I leave Friday night. I realized that in any other circumstance if I was taking a trip to London for 9 days I would be so excited. This will be my first trip to Europe. Oopse, my mom told me UK does not consider themselves Europe . But anyway I have not been excited. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to run into my husband’s arms. However, subconsciously I have been feeling a lot of pressure coming up to this trip. Everyone, even strangers ask me the SAME question when they hear I am moving to the UK, “Are you excited?” No. I am not excited. And I feel horrible about that.
I was telling my hubby last night this is a huge change in my life. I put it with graduating from high school, and college. Your whole life gets turned upside down. You move to a different city, and home. Your whole daily routine changes. Can I get Curel in the UK? (I am not sure but Amy made sure there was a website that ships to UK so I could order it online.) I told my hubby, becoming his wife was easy, not much changed and I knew I wanted to spend everyday of my forever with him. That was easy. I was so excited to marry him. I still live with him everyday in our home. My daily life did not change except trying to remember to sign my new last name. But now I am quitting my job of 7 years, leaving all of my friends and all of my family, selling my favorite car and moving to another country to freeze in the rain and drive on the other side of the road while on the other side of the car. I am not excited, I am apprehensive and nervous. Everything I know will change. And I am not good with change.
The trip across the pond is a tryout for the UK. Will I like it? Will I finally get that feeling apparently EVERYONE else would have if they were moving to England? I feel the pressure. I decided yesterday to make the choice to think of this not as a trip to experience my new home, but as a spectacular vacation with my husband. He has willingly planned our travel while abroad. All I know is we are starting out in London and then traveling to 2 other locations. One is obviously Cambridge and other towns surrounding our new posting. The other is a surprise. He has made all of our reservations and has told me we will be having fancy dinners, going to a show in the West End and hill walking (which is what we call hiking). I am excited.